I’ve known you for so long. From the day I could walk till the moment I’m writing this letter of my heart.
I don’t know what to say actually and I feel a bit nervous writing this letter. I don’t know whether you will read this. But if you’re ever to read this, it would be one of the gre
atest wonderful memories I will ever have!
The English proverb may say “To err is human” but in my collection of proverbs says “Wallahi you are perfect!”
At first, I didn’t really understand why people had obsessive love towards you. They would give their lives in order to protect you, their backs would become your shield from unlettered arrows piercing your heart, and their bodies would defend you from being slashed by swords.
But now, I understand, really understand why. Because you are here to pe
rfect good manners.[1] If you are gone, then everything will bygone. I would not exist in this true path.
Your life has mesmerized mine. I tried to follow your life. I tried to be like you. I’ve tried and I’m still trying but I’ve failed many times.
You have inspired me many times.
I can still remember when I was a little boy. I lost a tooth in a one clinic in Scotland, United Kingdom, and the pain I felt I couldn’t bear. So I cried and cried my heart out. Then my father said “Patience my son, do you still remember how he lost his tooth?.” Yeah! You were in deeper pain compared to me! You were pierced by your own metal helmet at your maxilla but I! My pain was a just the loosing of a baby tooth!
I have never tested with the death of my closest kin. But you underwent a complete suffering. You were an orphan when you were young! You lost your parents, uncle, gr
andfather, your wife and your sons. You raised yourself by being a shepherd. But my life was fulfilled with everything needed for me. You have taught me the meaning of “No pain no gain.”
There were times when I felt that Solaah is boring. It’s like a burden. Sometimes I felt it’s just a waste of time. But I remember your bruised feet praying. I am only asked to pray five times a day but you! You are made compulsory to pray the whole day even at midnight! [2]
Your existence has made me in love with you. You are my love. I would say “I love you” or “Bahibbak awi awi” or “Uhibbuka Fillah” or “Ai shite iru” or “Wo ai ni” out loud for the sake of you. I love you because you love Allah and you make me closer to Allah.
Some people may say that I’m gay saying that I love a man. It’s abnormal others may claim.
But please judge me all you want, keep the verdicts to yourself, because no matter who you love, they will always be obstacles and critics and good looks on everything.
And I wanna get close to you because you are close to Allah so I cry my heart out, I let it all go because after every rainfall must come a rainbow and trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never even met.
And I am sure that I will never forget you because you are implanted in my blood. Because we have known for so long, I have one request. It’s kinda like impossible.
I do love you, but I have never seen you. My request is, when is it the time for me to meet you? When will we sit down together and chit chat? When can we share? Isn’t sharing is caring?
Huhu… It’s kinda impossible for me to meet a great man such as yourself.
Yeah. I’m not taught to love your physical attributes. I haven’t seen you but yet, you are so close to me. I know that I can’t reach you but yet you are here.
You asked us whenever anybody feels love towards someone, say “I love you”.[3] This time, I want to return the favor as I have never done it yet.
“I love you” min somimil Qolbi!
I remember your call before you passed away.
But now I’m waiting for you to call me again in the judgment day.
Because I’m nothing without you.
I Love you!
You are Rasulullah, and I….
I’m in Love!
The one needing you,
Ameen Misran
[1] “The only reason I have been sent is to perfect good manners.” (Muwatta, Book #47, Hadith #47.1.8)
[2] Surah Muzammil verse: 1-7
[3] Narrated Anas ibn Malik:
A man was with the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and a man passed by him and said: Apostle of Allah! I love this man. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) then asked: Have you informed him? He replied: No. He said: Inform him. He then went to him and said: I love you for Allah’s sake. He replied: May He for Whose sake you love me love you!
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